Many speak of opportunities - "when one door closes, another one opens" But rarely about the hallway. The transition. The in between where you are and where you are headed. The hallway doesn't have to be a dark, scary, endless confusion - It can be a space of massive transformation, great memories and peace.
As Christmas quickly approaches us, I reflect on my life and how it has changed in the past 6 months and how different this holiday season will be. I also realize many others could be facing difficult or different situations this year as well and I wanted to take the time to reflect. I love the holidays, and regardless of the hardship that has endured, my heart is full.
Many people talk about overcoming huge obstacles in their lives and becoming a completely different person because of them. They are inspiring stories, and make others realize that everything eventually will be okay. When we go through hard times you hear everyone talk about how strong you'll be at the end of it. But what the transition period? The stage where things are recovering, you feel yourself changing, but your not quite as strong, or where you want to be. If there is one thing I have learned about facing adversity this year is that it will come out of nowhere, theres no way to prepare, and you just have to go through it. The transition period is a time for A LOT of reflection, and getting brutally honest with yourself and those around you.
The Good in the Bad
Transitions are tough to go through especially when change is forced upon you. However, where relationships break, others grow. Somehow you'll always find clarity in the blur of things, and it becomes so beneficial to your well being. Whether or not we are aware of it all of these things happen and it shapes us. Does it suck somedays? Yes. Unfortunately, some days are harder than others and it will be like that for a little while. The days when things are well are the times you cherish, and just be in the moment. Its sad sometimes that we need something devastating to happen to us in order to appreciate things but unfortunately thats the truth. Life is lessons, growth, and love.
The truth is adversity actually helps us stay connected with others. Everyone goes through many things that are life changing, and what it does is make you more understanding when you know others are going through a hard time. A misconception we often make as people is thinking that we are the only ones going through stuff. We often question "why me?" But the reality is everyone is facing some kind of struggle. The truth is the "hallway" is the most vital part of change. Its where you find answers to where your going, learn to face fear, and find peace.
What I have Learned this far
1. Let change make you BETTER not bitter
Its easy to let things get to us. If we let life destroy us, it will. Find ways to keep yourself going especially when you feel like you have nothing left. These are the times when you really have to love yourself and have your own back.
2. Reflect on the good that came from the bad
When life is overwhelming, always look back and reflect on what you have gained. It might not seem like a lot until you let yourself actually think about it. Lets be honest, its hard to look at anything positive when theres so much negativity around you. However, reflecting helps make things a little bit easier.
3. Think before you speak, and do not let emotions determine what to say
"Respond, don't React" take time to think about how the situation makes you feel and how you can talk about it in calm matter. I know for me, sometimes it could be hard to not cry, but I visioned and thought about explaining myself in a way that made me calm and that really helped.
4. Let yourself feel
Let yourself cry if you feel sad and don't feel guilty when you feel happy. Its not good to hold in emotions all the time and avoid them. As well as, not feeling happy because you think you shouldn't. Take everything as it comes and know its okay to be emotional, vulnerable, and happy in the same period of your life.
5. Always do your best
Always show up, and be authentic. Be happy for those around you regardless of what your going through. Be proud of yourself that you have made it through this far and know that better day are coming.
I am nervous, but also hopeful and excited for what is to come in my life. I love my family and friends, and I am truly happy when they are happy. I hope that everyone going through a transition finds clarity and looks forward to a better time. A Big thank you to my lovely friend and mentor Bertilda Arguello for these beautiful pictures. I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and to cherish these moments with your loved ones. <3